A blog post by Adriana Bachmann
The car ride home is surreal.
You've done it — the pregnancy, the delivery, the hospital stay. And now you're pulling into your driveway with a tiny human in the backseat, and somewhere between the hospital exit and your front door, it hits you: there are no nurses down the hall. No doctor doing rounds. No button to press when you're not sure what to do.
It's just you and this baby.
Every new parent knows this feeling. And almost every new parent is sent home without a real plan for what comes next. "Get through it" is not a plan. Neither is Googling symptoms at 3am or doom-scrolling parenting forums while your baby screams.
Chapter Three of Bitches, I've Arrived is everything those first days at home actually look like — and everything you need to know to stop surviving and start thriving.
The Advice You Were Given at the Hospital Is Already Working Against You
Before you've even unpacked the hospital bag, you're likely already following advice that's making your life harder.
Most new parents leave the hospital with a feeding approach they were told is standard. It seems logical. It comes from professionals. And for many families, it quietly sets off a chain reaction of problems — a baby who isn't gaining weight the way they should, a mother who's exhausted and confused about why things aren't working, and everyone operating on far too little sleep.
Here's what I've observed in over twenty years of working with newborns: the way most people are taught to feed a new baby is not optimized for the baby — or for the mother. There's a better approach, and in the book I lay it out in full, including the exact math behind how much your baby should be eating based on their weight each day and how to structure feedings so that everyone in the house can actually rest.
When feeding is done right from the beginning, almost everything else falls into place.
Your Baby Is Trying to Tell You Something — and You Need to Know What It Means
Here's something that happens in nearly every home with a newborn, and almost no one explains it in advance.
Your baby is feeding. Mid-feed, they start moving their head from side to side, mouth open, clearly agitated. A nurse or a well-meaning family member sees this and says: "They're still hungry — keep feeding."
They're wrong.
That movement is not a hunger cue. It's a discomfort cue. Your baby needs to burp, and until that happens, continuing to feed will only make things worse. Knowing the difference between these two things — what your baby actually needs versus what it looks like they need — is one of the most valuable skills you can develop in the first week home.
In Bitches, I've Arrived, I walk through exactly what different baby behaviors mean and how to respond to each one. Reading your baby's cues correctly from day one changes everything about how those early weeks feel.
The Sleep Foundation Is Built Right Now — Whether You Realize It or Not
Sleep feels like a crisis in the newborn stage because most families don't build the foundation during the window when it's easiest to do so.
Every habit your baby develops around sleep in these first weeks becomes the template for months to come. The good news: this window is a genuine opportunity. If you're intentional early, your baby can be sleeping through the night in a matter of weeks — not months. I've seen it happen consistently, with baby after baby, for over two decades.
The sleep environment matters enormously. The schedule matters. The way you respond when your baby fusses matters. And some of what feels instinctively kind — rocking, rushing in, offering comfort every time your baby stirs — can quietly undermine the independent sleep you're trying to build.
Chapter Three includes a full breakdown of what sleep looks like week by week in the beginning, how to structure nap and nighttime sleep, what to do when your baby cries, and how to hold the routine together even when life gets in the way — doctor's appointments, outings, those days when everything runs late.
The schedule is there. You just need someone to hand it to you.
Bath Time Is Not What You Think It Is
Here's a question almost no one asks before bringing a baby home: how often should you actually be bathing a newborn?
The conventional answer might surprise you — and my answer might surprise you even more. There's a reason I do things differently, and it comes down to your baby's skin, their developing immune system, and what "clean" actually means for a body this new to the world.
I also have strong opinions about how you bathe your baby that go against what most people expect. It's one of those areas where the simplest approach is significantly better — for your baby's health, for bonding, and for catching things early that you might otherwise miss.
In the book I cover everything: when to start baths, how to do them, what products to use, and what your hands can tell you that a washcloth never will.
Rashes, Cradle Cap, Baby Acne — Don't Panic
Your baby's skin is going to do things that look alarming and are almost always fine.
Cradle cap. Baby acne. Diaper rash. These are some of the most common conditions in newborns, and the internet will send you down a rabbit hole of treatments, creams, and products that range from unnecessary to actively counterproductive.
I have simple, effective approaches for all of it — approaches that don't require a cabinet full of specialty products or a dermatology appointment. I also tell you the one skin situation that does require more attention, and when to bring it to your pediatrician.
Spoiler: most of what looks scary isn't. And most of what parents reach for in these moments isn't necessary either.
Confidence Is a Skill You Can Build
The parents who struggle most in those early weeks at home aren't the ones who don't love their babies enough. They're the ones who were sent home without real information — and who are now making it up as they go, anxious and second-guessing every decision.
The parents who thrive are the ones with a framework. They know what a good feeding looks like. They know how to read their baby's cues. They have a sleep schedule and they understand why it works. When something feels off, they know what to look for instead of spiraling.
That framework is what Chapter Three is built to give you.
You are not going to be perfect at this. Nobody is. But you can be prepared. You can walk through that front door with your baby and actually know what you're doing — not because parenting is easy, but because someone finally handed you the right information at the right time.
That's what this book is for.
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