A blog post by Adriana Bachmann
Let me get something out of the way right now: I am not anti-breastfeeding.
I breastfed my own children. I've supported thousands of mothers through their breastfeeding journeys. I have spent over two decades helping babies thrive — and for many of them, breast milk was part of that.
What I am against is the pressure. The shame. The lactation consultants and influencers who make mothers feel like failures for even considering another path. The culture that treats breastfeeding as a moral achievement rather than one of several valid ways to nourish a baby.
That culture isn't honest. And it isn't helping anyone — least of all the babies.
Chapter Five of Bitches, I've Arrived is the breastfeeding chapter. And it's going to say things you've never heard from a lactation specialist.
Not All Breast Milk Is Created Equal
This is the part that tends to make people uncomfortable. So let's just say it clearly and move on.
The quality of your breast milk is directly tied to the quality of what goes into your body — your diet, your health, your choices. Breast milk is not a fixed, guaranteed product that comes out the same for every mother. Some breast milk is nutritionally rich. Some isn't. And no amount of special cookies, lactation teas, or Instagram supplements is going to change that fundamental reality.
There's actually a simple way to check the quality of your own breast milk — a quick visual test you can do at home that tells you a great deal about its nutritional content. Most mothers have never heard of it. In Chapter Five, I walk through exactly what to look for and what it means for your baby.
This isn't about judgment. It's about truth. And the truth is that some babies are not gaining weight the way they should because the breast milk they're receiving simply isn't giving them what they need — and nobody has told their mother yet.
The Things Going Into Your Body Are Going Into Your Baby
Here's a question worth sitting with: if you're committed to feeding your baby breast milk, are you being as intentional about what goes into your body as you are about what goes into theirs?
What you eat, what medications you take, what you drink — all of it has the potential to end up in your breast milk. In Chapter Five, I address this directly, including some specific situations that are far more common than people realize and far less discussed than they should be.
I'm not here to shame anyone. I'm here to make sure you have information that actually helps you make good decisions for your baby. And some of that information is going to challenge things you've been told are fine.
Burping Is Not an Afterthought
If there's one thing most parents get consistently wrong — regardless of whether they're breastfeeding or formula feeding — it's burping.
Burping gets treated like a quick pat on the back between feeding and sleep. It isn't. It's one of the most important parts of the entire feeding process, and doing it incorrectly means your baby is carrying trapped air that will make them uncomfortable, restless, and unable to feed well at the next session.
In Chapter Five, I break down the specific techniques that actually work — not the ones you see on social media, not the ones your mother's friend swears by, but the ones I've used with thousands of babies over twenty years. There are three distinct techniques, and knowing when to use each one changes everything about how feeding goes.
I also share the signs your baby is sending you that most parents completely miss — the subtle cues that mean a burp is coming and what to do when it feels like it never will.
The Myths Your Lactation Specialist Believes
Lactation consultants can be wonderful. Many of them are. But even the well-meaning ones sometimes perpetuate ideas about breastfeeding that simply don't hold up — ideas that create unnecessary anxiety, undermine your confidence, and occasionally make things harder instead of easier.
Chapter Five takes on the most common of these myths directly. Things like whether breastfeeding should hurt, what pump schedules actually accomplish, the truth about nipple confusion, what low milk supply really means versus what it just looks like, and the medication question that most consultants answer one way and I answer very differently.
Some of what you read will be a relief. Some of it will make you wish someone had told you sooner. That's usually how this goes.
Breastfeeding Isn't Working. Now What?
Here's the nightmare scenario I see play out over and over: a mother is doing everything she's been told to do. She's breastfeeding consistently, she's dedicated, she's exhausted. And her baby isn't gaining weight. Or her baby is in pain. Or feeding has become a battle that leaves them both miserable.
This is not a failure of love. It's not a failure of effort. It's information — information that something needs to change.
Chapter Five gives you a clear framework for recognizing when breastfeeding alone isn't working for your specific baby, what signs to watch for in feeding and in your baby's output, and what to do about it. Including, when appropriate, making the switch to formula — without guilt, without drama, and with your baby's wellbeing as the only thing that matters.
Because here's the truth that the breastfeeding community often refuses to say out loud: a thriving baby on formula is infinitely better than a struggling baby on breast milk.
You Don't Owe Anyone an Explanation
Whether you breastfeed exclusively, formula feed, or do a combination of both — the only person whose opinion matters in that decision is your baby's. And your baby's opinion is expressed very clearly through their weight gain, their sleep, their comfort, and their growth.
Everything else — the loaded questions, the raised eyebrows, the "are you sure that's enough?" from people who've never spent a night in your house — is noise.
Chapter Five is designed to give you the information and the confidence to tune all of that out, make the best decision for your specific baby, and feel good about it.
That's what this book has always been about.
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