A blog post by Adriana Bachmann
Let's start with the thing nobody in the baby world wants to say out loud: "breast is best" is not a universal truth.
I know. I can already hear the objections. But stay with me — because this isn't a take designed to be controversial. It's a take designed to actually help you.
I've spent over two decades working with newborns. I've been in thousands of homes, at thousands of feeding sessions, with thousands of babies across every possible combination of breastfeeding, formula, and everything in between. And what I've seen, consistently, is this: the babies who thrive are the ones whose parents made feeding decisions based on their specific baby — not on social pressure, not on guilt, and not on a slogan.
Chapter Six of Bitches, I've Arrived is the formula chapter. And it's one of the most important in the book.
Formula Is Not a Backup Plan
There's a deeply embedded cultural message that says formula feeding is what you do when breastfeeding doesn't work out — when you couldn't produce enough, or when things got too hard, or when you "gave up." It frames formula as the lesser option, the fallback, the thing you settle for.
That framing is wrong. And it does real harm.
For many babies, formula isn't just a valid option — it's the better one. It's more consistent than breast milk. It's easier to measure and track. It doesn't vary based on what you ate that day or what medications you've taken. And for babies who are struggling with the acidity or composition of breast milk, switching to formula can be genuinely life-changing.
I worked with a mother who made the switch to formula for just three days as an experiment. The difference in her baby was, in her words, like night and day. She looked at me and said something I've never forgotten: "Adriana, I am not going to keep my baby in pain. I am going to do what is best for my baby."
That is the only mindset that matters.
Not All Formula Is the Same — and the Difference Matters
Here's something the formula aisle at your grocery store will not tell you: many of the most popular American baby formulas contain ingredients that have no business being in your baby's bottle. Corn syrup. Sucrose. Fillers that pad the product without meaningfully contributing to your baby's nutrition.
Meanwhile, the formulas I've trusted and recommended for over twenty years — the ones I've watched babies thrive on — are largely unknown to American parents. That's not because they're inferior. It's because they're from Europe, where formula is regulated differently, where development stages are taken seriously, and where what goes into a baby's bottle is held to a different standard.
In Chapter Six, I explain exactly what to look for in a formula, why the country of origin matters more than most people realize, the specific order in which to try different formula types when your baby is struggling, and when to move from one to the next. There's a clear framework, and once you understand it, navigating the formula decision becomes a lot less overwhelming.
The FDA Isn't Telling You the Full Story
If you've ever looked into European baby formula, you've probably come across the phrase "not FDA-approved" and immediately felt nervous. That reaction is understandable. And it's also based on an incomplete picture of what FDA approval actually means.
The FDA regulates formula in the United States through a single standard that applies to every baby from birth through twelve months. European formulas take a different approach — one that accounts for the fact that a newborn's nutritional needs at two weeks old are genuinely different from those at ten months old.
Chapter Six breaks down exactly what this means in practical terms: what the difference is, why it matters for your specific baby at each stage, and how to think about this decision clearly rather than reactively. The goal isn't to make you distrust regulatory agencies. It's to make sure you have the full picture instead of just the headline.
For Formula Moms: Nobody Tells You This Part
Here's something that catches formula-feeding mothers completely off guard: your body doesn't know you've decided not to breastfeed.
Even if you've never put your baby to your breast, your milk will likely still come in. Engorgement is real, it's uncomfortable, and if you don't handle it correctly, it can lead to mastitis — which is painful and requires treatment.
There are specific steps to take immediately after delivery if you're planning to formula feed that can prevent this from happening — or at least dramatically reduce how long and how intensely you experience it. In Chapter Six, I walk through exactly what to do, including what actually works from personal and professional experience versus what doesn't.
This is the kind of information that would have been genuinely useful to have before walking out of that hospital, but almost no one thinks to share it with formula-feeding mothers ahead of time.
When It's Not Working and You Can't Figure Out Why
If your baby is on formula and still not gaining weight the way they should, still uncomfortable, still not sleeping — that's not a reason to panic. But it is information that something needs to change.
Chapter Six gives you a clear troubleshooting framework for formula feeding: how to identify what's going wrong, what signs to look for in your baby's behavior and output, what adjustments to make and in what order, and when the issue is the formula itself versus how it's being given.
One of the things I hear most from parents who found the Jaja Method later than they would have liked is: "I wish I'd known what I was looking for sooner." Knowing the difference between a baby who's adjusting and a baby whose formula isn't right for them saves weeks of unnecessary struggle — for your baby and for you.
The Quality of the Feeding Matters More Than What's in the Bottle
Here's what I want every mother reading this to hear, whether you breastfeed, formula feed, or do a combination of both:
The most important thing that happens during a feeding is not what's in the bottle. It's the attention, the responsiveness, and the love you bring to that moment. A formula-fed baby whose mother is present, tuned in, and confident is doing better than a breastfed baby whose mother is anxious, exhausted, and running on guilt.
Chapter Six gives formula-feeding mothers the information and the confidence to show up to every feeding without apology — knowing exactly what their baby is getting, exactly how much, and exactly how to adjust when something isn't right.
That confidence is not a small thing. It changes everything about those early months.
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